Satisfyer recently launched a range of lay-on vibrators they have marketed 'for women'. This is just outdated and untrue. You can use a lay-on vibrator if you're a man or if you're non-binary. Anyway, I (cis man) tested the Dark Desire together with my partner (cis woman).
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“Spoiler alert: 'Not bad at all!"
What is the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire?
Don't confuse Layons with the river in France. At least, I suspect that Satisfyer's 'layons' are more like a bastardization 'lay-on'. And that's exactly what the Layons range is: lay-on vibrators.
A lay-on vibrator is a vibrating device that you use externally. Satisfyer believes you can best use this item on your clitoris but what's stopping you from trying in different areas? Off the top of my head, a nipple, labia, perineum, the base of the glans … whatever turns you on!
The Dark Desire in this series is touted as a 'powerful wizard'. Don't ask me why. It looks more like a car key which you can use to unlock your car remotely. It's just a bit bigger.
Specs and functions of the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire
The Dark Desire is wrapped in black, body-friendly silicone. Because it's completely waterproof, you can submerge it. Great for some solo fun in the tub but also ideal for cleaning your toy.
You can charge the Dark Desire using a magnetic USB cable. It needs 3.5 hours to fully charge.
There are only two 'buttons' on this lay-on vibrator: a + and a -. This changes the setting just like you'd channel surf with your remote control. First you cycle through five 'channels' with constant vibrations and then there are ten different patterns.
Unboxing
The packaging on Satisfyer's recent models is all fresh and modern. They have their own house style that is recognizable from the color scheme (vintage pastel shades), the picture of a smiling person and a full-size picture of the device inside. Although they aren't gender neutral in their targeting, there is some diversity in the people on the package. At least there's that.
The packaging also contains an instruction manual with clear symbols, a charging cable and a booklet with safety instructions.
In short, it looks good. They're learning over there at Satisfyer.
The test drive
The Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire was already charged and ready to use right out of the box. See, that's what I'm talking about. After all, who wants to wait 3.5 hours for the thing to charge and then play with it for 50 minutes? Come on!
Press and hold the + button for a few seconds to turn on the Dark Desire. This will start a medium, constant vibration. You can use the - button to make it vibrate a little less intensely and you can press the + to increase the vibration by two steps. Press the + a third time to access the patterns section. I don't know why Satisfyer says there are 15 settings, because I only count about 10. The patterns all seem to vibrate at their hardest and you can't turn them down.
The convenient size of this vibrator can come in handy. For example, if you like to carry a vibrator in your purse. And remember, you can't use it to unlock your car. You might look a bit silly whipping it out in the middle of a garage...
The side of the Dark Desire that you press against the skin is slightly ribbed. But the ridges are very small and not necessarily noticeable.
The vibrations are pretty decent, but not very deep. Add some water-based lubricant for extra comfort.
It can be a bit difficult to hold because of it's small round size, the small buttons, the lubrication and the vibrations. It slides all over the place and you lose track of the buttons. So that's not very convenient. The noise levels aren't too bad. It's not silent but it isn't loud either.
You will be able to climax once you find the right spot and the right settings. Its blunt shape makes it great for indirect clitoris stimulation, or direct stimulation of the base under the glans. It's easy to hold in the flat of your hand when massaging your partner. I needed to add that.
Cleaning the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire
I love toys that are waterproof, because you can just clean them under the faucet or in the bath. The challenge with the Dark Desire is that there are those little ridges on the side that get the 'dirtiest'. You can clean between the ridges using a washcloth. If you want to be really thorough, you can also use some mild soap or a toy cleaner.
Conclusion
Well, it's a mixed bunch. The vibrations are pretty decent. However, holding and operating it while masturbating isn't great. Actually, that's the only reason we're not very enthusiastic about it. Because the price and performance are very reasonable.
The pros of the Satisfyer Layons Dark Desire:
Beautifully modern and elegant design
Small, convenient size.
Reasonably deep vibrations
Not too loud
Soft, body-safe silicone
100% waterproof
Magnetic charging
Clear instructions with pictograms
A reasonable price.
The cons:
Not a good grip, certainly not in combination with lubricant (and you really want to use that)
Patterns are not adjustable in strength
Slow charging
No storage bag
